Rosa's history

September - December 2008	IT'S POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY - POETRY
March 2008	How to live brain injured
January 2008	The noise
July 2007	My birthday and more
March 2007	To the godparents
March 2007	To my dear patterning volunteers
March 2007	Letter to Glenn Doman, Funder of the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential
November 2006	I have a voice now
November 2006	The Institutes

VEIL OF MY SOUL

Don't let this veil be given over

That assassin of my fragile soul

That difficulty of being usually lost in arduous disasters

Of sadistic attacks of frightening sounds

My difficult suit from just the right bone structure

Months it is frustrating to be in that world, not labeled for me.

Biologically healthy I feel like heart-sick

Terrified to know some remedy I am scared to adhere

Unhopefully I was doing the Yeti in the snow

Like him I can't show my identity,

Only my veil of personality .

IT'S POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY

That happiness of striving to give up one day

Fighting this afternoon with my very dearest cousins

Who hide themselves when playing with me

Uniting their joys in disastrous smiles without end that don't let you go inside yourself

Assasinatedly to the sadness as they do it to other people that I know

Powerfully they get happy at feasts

And my left hands try to play with them,

Agitated I swallow my saliva.

Someone gets farther from me in an instant

Powerful joy that is free of pain

And a self-centeredness to be defending that happiness.

It's something unique my staging a game like this one.

I can hurt myself with their smiles and shorts

And it's unique, my power to kindly withstand,

Joyful power of their games

I am the queen of the entire world.

For pure pleasure a tender opposition

Inundates my heart.

MY FEAR AND CHALLENGE

Poem merely interflowed by the fear of losing my usefulness

Only ideaed by my poor worsely stereotypical thinking like common people

That which can put my power of lupuriteric gesticular pose

In danger of being not very literal.

Corn cob without a husk I am writing a poem without meaning

Because this fear is remaining and unuseably terrible,

Only knot and pollution of beings with brain injury.

Urgent challenge to continue.

URIDATIC ASSASSIN

Your jubilation united to the urgent load of aromatic smell of urine

It's something tyrannical you trying to control the gesture

Intending to say something useful to tell those that surround you

To help you to resist in the fight against your poor pride.

To spill this sadistic urine and see how it spreads everywhere without remedy.

And to feel trapped in the incapacity of controlling whichever deficiency

Poliferic bewitched by my brain injury.

I fear having only my spill on the floor

No gesture no word to live in patience some time

Like others.

It's a joy if one time I am like other kids

Being able to go pee in the bathroom

And that happens more and more frequently.

We are in this fight everyday

And in something my indementia is getting better.

To be better each day is something but it isn't everything.

And assassinated my patience I spill myself on the floor

Like my urine.

MY HIDDEN TREASURE

Ironically used

I am putting my hidden treasure

In enigmatic settlements only accessible in precious instants.

To unite the tremendous possession of intelligence

Hardly usual

With the terrorizing power of my poliferic brain injury

It is totally urgent.

Interesting the fact of having to look at people

Putting on a tremendous joy in each unit of gesture

Singularly newly generated by my generous body

Without a way of utilizing words to obtain the same

Uniting sensitive writings like this one.

Enigma and phantom I can't terrificize anyone.

How to Live Brain Injured

Rosa is 7 years old and has brain damage. Rosa and her hope for some cure for the damage are the path of her life.

It is eternal this waiting to see my assassinated person in this search to express this intelligence that I have. It is also to be waiting that some time I will be able to speak in order to say what I want freely and to be participating in all the conversations that they have around me.

It is also to be waiting that I might be able to be alone without them taking care of me and leave the house to the place where I want with the clothes I want to put on.

I can think that one day it is going to happen but for this an eternity of time is left. I think that Elke is doing an arduous job in the hope that one day this dream will come true. For me it is not easy to understand where she gets this strength that she is everyday working to do the program. One reason can be that her character is very rigorous and strong. This may attract all the people that bring a little joy to the house with their presence and help with the patternings and other things.

The relationship that I have with Elke is something esoteric. She can guess my thoughts and that helps that she can understand me better every time. She gives everything because she worries about my future and that which with make Rosa healthy.

People in my situation need people like Elke. Without this we are lost because it is a common practice in many cases this custom of putting children with brain damage in institutions where someone attends them that doesn't love them so much as their mom. I was in a place like that. The people are always a little attentive to the children and the rest of the time they spend doing things of little importance like chatting the entire day.

But it was important to know this environment to know that I am an eternity better now. It is very happy to be with my family at home because they truly love me. Because they don't get happy to do the program instead of being anguished about the future of their child with brain damage.

For me it is very good luck to have this family that helps me and also it is something special that they work with Vientos Culturales. In this way I can see something new everyday. It is something sad that that not all children can do this program or at least something of it. What can be done when the child has brain damage and nothing advances? It is very anguishing for this child and also for his or her parents.

I felt very sad before doing the program. I couldn't walk and also couldn't transmit what I was feeling. I couldn't read and neither could I write. I was also thinking that it was better to die than to be living like apparatus-person without hope of illuminating herself with the faith of getting healthy some day.

It is as if you were ember without fire like water without a sea like a soul without a body. All the people believe that you don't understand anything and they treat you like an absolute dummy. For me this was the saddest part. Because I understood everything since I was little. Since when I had less than a year I can remember everything. It is interesting being a little girl with brain damage. It is fascinating this contradiction between a false belief that we don't understand anything and our great intellectual capacity. It is false to think that we are not intelligent. It is joyful to be with my family that realizes this fact.

Sometimes I fight with my sister but always her something of her tremendous love comes out towards me. She always treats me like a normal girl. This is the best present on her part. She is the best sister in the world. I only have one sister. I would like to have more. Maybe one day my parents will decide to have another baby. It is a desire that I have had for a long time because in that way I would be able to be the big sister like Maria is for me.

Something that is important with having brain damage is clinging to the family. They are always the people that love you most and they want you to be cured or at least that you get better as much as you can. This desire is a great help because they intensely assume the will to feel it everyday. What more can I write. Such is the life with brain damage.

TOP

The Noise

What is wanted by someone with auditive hypersensibility: silence. But it is something impossible to obtain for me. Noise is something that is present all the time, the assassin of joy and it's worse than this because it is something that doesn't end in death, on the contrary it is eternally killing you and it is ostentatious in its ability to destroy the happiness's will to live. It is this that makes Rosa 's scary behavior eternally demonstrating itself. I can be in a great desperation and no one realizes it. This arrestment in noise is an assassin inside of me because it scares the kidnapped soul into its prison of thirst for silence. You can imagine this anxious waiting to sleep to be able to return to the freedom lost during the day.

It's difficult to understand but movies are sedatives because they are a distraction and their containment is educational. The puppet show is something entertaining also because it is something that Rosa loves and it is the most powerful sedative. It is a joy to be killing this ESTORBACION of sounds.

It is important to explain what it is that bothers me: it is the continuous sound of water running through the pipes, it is also the sound of the cars on the highway, it is the sound of the cars that sell water, fruits or vegetables and fish. They are the worst and they are finishing with me all day long. You can imagine that I am lost in this little supportive world until someone like me apparently gets happy to hear noise. Little joy does she have when I make movements or I laugh. It is the reaction that I am able to demonstrate. That is all to not hurt myself more with the sounds.

For my mom it is torture to try to explain this to people. Sorry but it's something important to say. The sound that takes over my poor mind is eternally non-taking in and terribly powerful. You can imagine that for me there is little joy, thinking that I am going to live like this forever. I think about the silence of death because it is too much to think in the noisy life.

You all had the luck to have normal audition. What purpose does it serve to explain all this. If someone were wounded like I am by sounds they would be able to understand it. But only my mom understands because she is sensitive to my sounds as someone who is always with me. She can feel the problem and even she hears sounds trained that they hurt me, but other people are not capable. I can be in great desperation and they don't realize. It is something understandable that no one pays me attention because I can't talk and I am only a girl of 7 years old but if I could have the ability, I would throw a bomb so that people would see their disgusting attitude of ignorance in all its splendor.

That attitude of mine is sad but it is a result of so much suffering hearing their voices, their music, their songs, the television, the keyboards, the sermons in the churches, the traffic and eternal advertisements of things that they want to sell in their desperation to be he who earns the most money. It is this that makes me feel so much desperation and say bad things. It is something about myself that I don't like but it is there. Sorry if I offended someone, Rosa is she that is also offended. Sorry again.

Noise attacking my brain.

TOP

My Birthday

It's not very common in my family to celebrate birthdays. Dad is a bit strange in this sense because when he was a kid his mom didn't celebrate it. You can imagine that it is difficult for him to understand how important it is for a child. For me it's something very important because maybe next year I won't be alive. It could be that Dad understood this because this year he participated in my birthday party for the first time.

Can you imagine that he bought me a little toy car and another that I can push? Dad had never bought a gift because he could lose his way of thinking that gifts are unnecessary. You can imagine that for me it was a great joy this year that Dad took the time to think about my birthday.

You can also imagine that Dad thinking about my dear birthday is the best present that I could have. For my mom it was also a great joy. She is the person that always remembers it and it is important for her to have birthdays because she knows that it is important for me.

It's possible that this birthday was the most wonderful one in my life. Surely for Dad as well. But it's important to tell you all everything that happened. First Dad was with me because Mom and Maria were getting the table ready for me. They put all the presents on the table ad Maria wrote a beautiful poem for me.

It may be the most beautiful poem that has been written. Because it talks about a garden of roses that grow and it's her thought that I am in this garden one of the roses that everyday is dearer and more beautiful.

But the gift that my mom made me was devastatingly spectacular. The gift was awesome because she made me 5 excellent foods during the whole day. You can imagine that this is unusual in my diet.

Rosa was able to eat a meal just like in a restaurant but with ingredients that don't harm her. It could be that this has also been the most beautiful present because she made it with a lot of work the whole night before. I think it was the most wonderful birthday of my life.

At night we went to the park and for the first time in my life I was able to think that I am doing something that all children can do.

Can you imagine that I was able to drive an electric car in the park by myself? It could also be the most incredibly beautiful gift in this awesome birthday. You can imagine the happiness of my parents when they saw it. It could be very unlikely for a girl with cerebral lesion to be able to think about driving a car all by herself.

I think why it is so difficult for me to want to do something and not be able to do it. It is for this reason I am doing the program of the institutes to be able to do what I want to do and not in the scary way that I behave sometimes. For this reason even on my birthday I did the program the whole day. Rosa is in love with this program because it could be that one day I might be able to be like other children that play and can do what occurs to them in the moment with no problems.

It's not probable that I will learn to speak one day but in this short time that I have been doing the program so many miracles have happened that it's possible that this miracle will also happen. Not a day can pass without doing the program because its one day that holds me back from achieving more miracles.

Saturday we went to San Cristobal de la Casas. It could also be one of the most beautiful presents. We saw the tomb of Pakal in the Jade Museum and at night we went to the park and there were some boys with fire.

It could be that for that it was worth it to skip a little of the program. It's that you need to travel in a car for one hour and we didn't do some inhalations and the kato we replaced with walks in San Cristobal . It is possible to do this because it's nice to leave the routine for a moment.

Rosa and her mom are at home all day and sometimes we get bored of doing masks and we do it in another place. It can be something embarrassing for me because people don't understand it very much but it is better to do it than not to do it. It can be a little embarrassing but it helps that I feel better. It's a lost cause to try to explain to people why we are doing it.

You can imagine that today we went to a barber shop and a lady sat apart from us because she didn't understand. She also didn't understand why my mom was speaking with me as if with a person that understands everything but I didn't answer. But I can't answer or show that I can understand. For me it is difficult to put on an intelligent face and very few people can forgive this.

But thanks to the facilitated communication I am able to demonstrate everything that is inside of me. For me it's extremely important to communicate in this manner because it's the only one I have. But I think proudly that I can do it very well. Few kids my age can talk with such diverse words as I.

It could be that I am the only girl that can do it because the other kids in order to say something they get stuck on their sentences and few are able to say in short phrases . For me it's practically impossible to speak but I'm very good at writing.

I can do very little when people treat me like a little baby. It's impossible for me to overcome my hyperactivity because my person is a chaos sometimes. But it is better every day. The program is marvelous. It could be that it is what will save my life. It's a little difficult to understand this for other people but for me it is best to be doing it all day because it is an opportunity to get better.

You can imagine that it is for this reason that Rosa always asks why her dad has to work so much. For her the best would be to do the program with everyone together, dad, mom and Maria. But it's not possible, dad works and mom does the program. Poor mom, she does everything alone. You can imagine why sometimes she is a little lost in thought. But what I like is that she does it every day. She knows how to think about my future. You can imagine that one thinks about their future when one has a cerebral lesion and you can imagine also the fear that I have thinking that one day I will be alone without my parents and without a person that knows how to understand me.

In few words it's a shame but it's important for my recuperation to go to the institutes. You can think how lost I would be without the possibility of lovingly realizing this program.

You can understand this and you can help please. It's important.

It can be that it is the only worry I have, because for the trip to Philadelphia we need a lot of money and Dad right now isn't earning a lot. Dad works a lot but it can be that sometimes he isn't paid very well. It can be difficult this time to pay the appointment. Can you help please?

I can't ask much because to ask is uncomfortable for my parents. It could be that people think that they asked to write this. But it's not like that. Because I am the first who wants to go to Philadelphia . You can understand that. Because I am the one who needs help. Sorry if it seems not very likely to give some money but you can give it for the next year.

Thanks and goodbye.
Rosa.

July 2007

TOP

It's really hard when you can understand everything and no one knows it. It's as if you were living in a prison. It's frustrating that everyone treats you like an idiot and you can't defend yourself. But that is done with, I have a voice now.

(November 2006)

TOP

The Institutes

It's a place where children with cerebral lesion have the opportunity to heal as much as possible. It's unknown exactly how much or how but a chance is there and the program has helped me a lot. I like to go because they treat me well. It's a place where they treat me like a normal girl and don't see me as a fool like in other places.

(November 2006)

TOP

To the godparents:

I thank you a lot for your support.

I would like to meet you. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get better. It's not easy but I keep up the fight.

Rosa.

(March 2007)

TOP

To my dear patterning volunteers

It is a pleasure that you have help me. It is very difficult for me to understand why I do patterning and I can´t control myself easily. I would like to be calmer but the power of my anger is very big. It is a little sad that many of you are no longer here. Thank you for you support and I send you many kisses. I hope you are well and don´t forget me.
Greetings Rosa.

(March 2007)

TOP

Glenn Doman,

it's a little sad that I can't go to the conferences but your book has taught me a lot about my cerebral lesion. The book is a pleasure and I can't thank you enough for having written it. Thanks to the book my parents found out about the Institutes and took me to Philadelphia .

Something I want to tell you is that I'm to going to give up and I will continue fighting day after day for my recuperation. The program is very difficult but it's worth it, it's a pleasure to know it and I hope your work is an example for others so that more kids can be with the program at the Institutes. What can I do in my situation without your support. It's a pleasure to have known you and I can say that there are not many people like you in this world that is full of ignorance towards children with cerebral lesion.

It's a little sad that I can't talk to be able to tell you how thankful I am with the progress I have made. My life has changed in all senses. It's a pleasure that I can now write and say what I feel. The intellectual program is awesome. The walks are a little difficult but I am making the effort. I don't like patterning. They're really annoying and I don't understand why I do them. It's little understood in your book.

My hyperactivity is very uncomfortable and I don't know what to do, I sometimes feel that it dominates me completely. It's a lot better now but it still bothers me. It's as if a powerful beast dominates me. I feel trapped and I can't get out. What can I do about this? It would be great if you could answer this question.

My mom doesn't know how much I love her and my sister and my dad either because I can't express my love like other kids my age do. Why is this? It's really sad that I can't control myself easily. My mom helps me a lot but it's very tiring for her. I would like to be calmer.

The law program is a pleasure because it is teaching my brain to follow rules and it helps me a lot. The rolls are a bit difficult but I can now do forward somersaults.

I wish you the best of health and a lot of strength and that you live many more years so that more kids can find you in the waiting room. It is a pleasure to find you there. I would like to give you some paintings that I did. They are very pretty and I hope you like them.

Goodbye, Rosa

I care for you a lot and the rest of the staff too.

(March 2007)

TOP

Home